November

It took me longer than I like to admit to recover from my work fiasco. I kinda fell apart for a few days after it was all over. It just took everything out of me. But I couldn't lay in bed forever because the following week my friend Rasika arrived for a visit. 

Rasika trying hot chocolate

Rasika and I met about two years ago at Act One Studios during Meisner training and we had been gmail buddies since my move abroad. She decided to use some vacation to come and explore Poland with me, a place she had previously never considered visiting. She was going to be here a total of five full days and wanted to see all the sights, so I had a lot of planning to do. 

Zapiekanka!

As soon as Rasika arrived, the whirlwind began. The first night I took her on a walk around the city and introduced her to European hot chocolate. It was a huge hit! And the next morning after a breakfast of pastries, I sent her on a day trip to the salt mine while I went to see about tickets for the castle. When she returned I let her have a quick nap, some dinner and then we headed to Nico's to introduce her to Polish vodka. 

Rasika, Zuza and I standing in front of the tree

in front of the mall

At Nico's, a party suddenly started, which is not an unusual occurrence in Kraków. Krzysiek arrived, then his roommates, and more people said they were on their way. Rasika was in shock at how easily Polish vodka went down in shots and she ended up having quite her share. From Nico's we decided to go dancing and after several hours on the dance floor we ended the night at the 24 hour pierogi bar before heading home. It was 7am.

At the castle courtyard

We woke up at 3pm, just in time to see the sun go down. It was much too late to go to Auschwitz as we had planned and we were both quite hungover. And then, Krzysiek called to tell me he was going to Wola (which is ten minutes from Auschwitz), and that we should come with him. So we did. We got dressed, jumped in the car, had dinner with Krzysiek's Mom and then went to his neighbor/best friend's house for a 'chill evening.' Well, to our surprise we walked into what looked like the beginnings of a looooong night. There were a lot more people there than I had anticipated. All of Krzysiek's childhood friends had come over and Rasika and I were the hits of the night. Me, because I was Krzysiek's new girlfriend who they hadn't met yet and Rasika, because she was not only from the States, but was Indian. It ended up working out beautifully. We all crowded around the fire in the living room, sipped on vodka and chatted. Everyone tried their broken English on Rasika and I jumped-in when they couldn't reach a point of understanding. One of Krzysiek's friends took a particular liking to Rasika, and I had to pry him from her side in order to take her home.

Swans we encountered on the Wisła

Rasika spent the next day at Auschwitz and made it home just in time for lunch. After relaxing for the rest of the afternoon with the family, we headed back to Kraków in the evening. 

Her last night. I was exhausted.

The next day was the Schindler museum and a walk around the square and on her last day we walked up to the Kopiec Koszcziuszki, saw the castle and then spent the evening with Krzysiek's sister and her husband. I somehow managed to stay awake until 3am to take Rasika to the bus that night and then I stumbled home, totally spent and slept for a VERY long time.

Krzysiek and I in the club

The next day I whipped up a pumpkin pie which was my assignment for Thanksgiving dinner. My friend William and his wife, Marta were hosting Thanksgiving for the U.S. stragglers in Kraków and I was going to get to introduce Krzysiek to his first Thanksgiving!

The pie however, was no small endeavor. It took me a solid week, just to find the ingredients! I found pumpkin at the open market, where this woman was selling green pumpkins by the slice and the insides were the brightest orange I had ever seen. They looked painted. When I told her I wanted a whole pumpkin, she kept trying to convince me to buy just a chunk because a whole pumpkin would be very heavy and therefore, expensive. I ignored her protests and took the whole thing.

Next I couldn't find molasses. So I thought I'd make my own from dark brown sugar. It turns out, you can't find that either in Poland. I finally tracked some down in the Polish equivalent of Trader Joe's and was ready to start my molasses endeavor. Then Krzysiek's Mom told me she had molasses and gave me the rest of her jar so I didn't have to fool with that. After borrowing a pie plate from William, I was finally prepared to make the pie. 

Giant chandeliers erected on the mall

Thanksgiving Day ended up being a bigger day than I had originally planned. Mom & Dad had been asking if I could come home for Christmas and with the new light of not having a job, I really wanted to. I had begun to really miss my family and friends, and poor Krzysiek was having to hear about it all the time. My family had wanted me to come home for Thanksgiving, but Rasika was in town that week so I couldn't finagle it. But Thanksgiving Day, I talked to Dad who found me a flight and we booked it with his miles. I would leave to Chicago in less than a week. I couldn't believe it. 

My pumpkin pie before baking

I had sent Krzysiek an e-mail with the news and my ticket info that afternoon, so I was surprised when he showed up after work in such a good mood. It turned out he hadn't gotten my e-mail so I had to watch his reaction as he read it on his phone. He tried to be happy for me, but the pain in his eyes was awful to watch. On that note, we headed to William's.

My plate of Thanksgiving dinner

William's was great. We had a lovely meal and it was fun for me to spend some time with my circle of friends. It was challenging for me on occasion to translate for Krzysiek, but if I deferred to Marta it worked out beautifully as she is perfectly fluent in both languages. I had warned Krzysiek that we might have to voice what we are thankful for and that is just what happened after dinner. Everyone went around and said three things they were thankful for: a person, a decision and an event. The following speeches were very touching and while Krzysiek had been a nervous wreck anticipating this tradition, it ended up being his favorite part. 

The dessert table

That night I couldn't sleep from excitement. I was going to get to go home in a few days!!!! I had kind of given up on the possibility of going to the States anytime soon and it was such a thrill to know it was going to happen. The next few days were blur of preparation: I bought presents, packed my bag, vacated my room and before I knew it, it was the night before my flight. Krzysiek and I spent the evening at his sister's looking at the pictures from her wedding, which had finally arrived. There were over 2000 of them and it took us four hours to see them all. But it was so much fun because it was just like being at the wedding all over again!

William cutting the turkey

The next morning Krzysiek and I had breakfast together and then he took me to the airport where he sat with me until I had to go through security. And then I was actually on my way to Chicago for the first time in 14 months, and only Dad and Calvin knew I was coming. 

A Parting of Ways

In the end of October I had a nice surprise visit from Aunt Valerie, Nancy and Beky. The first two days they were here, Manda and Andrew came with them so I got to spend some time with a big chunk of the family. I had a great time seeing everyone and the last night they were in town we had a lovely evening together; lots of laughs.

Right around the same time family was in town, Kasia and Darek went on their honeymoon to Tunisia. While they were gone, they let me and Krzysiek stay in their apartment. They have a great place and it was so nice to have my own space for awhile. I had been living in so many cramped situations for the last six months it was a huge treat to just relax in a virtually unshared space. Living with Krzysiek was also unbelievably easy. He is just as much of a neat freak as I am so there were no arguments regarding cleanliness and it was fun to have someone to come home to and share meals with. It was a completely different dynamic than I have with my roommates. We would spend hours talking over giant cups of tea, go on walks and watch movies together. Krzysiek was working a great deal more than I was, so I often had the place to myself. I had enough space to actually practice yoga and I also spent a lot of time playing in the kitchen. Needless to say, I was a very happy camper :-)  

The approach of November brought about another holiday in Poland - All Saints Day. I miraculously got the day off work (American companies rarely observe Polish holidays), and so Krzysiek and I headed to Wola to spend the holiday with family. All Saints Day is usually spent with family as it is the day you honor family members who have passed by visiting their graves. And that's exactly what we did. We all got up and went to mass, then visited the graves in the churchyard which are from Krzysiek's father's side of the family. Then we went home for lunch before heading to two additional graveyards a little further away, where relatives from his mother's side lay. Then it was time for coffee and cake with Grandpa and his girlfriend. After Grandpa went home, we wrapped up the evening with some vodka and good conversation. 

An afternoon of Wine and Hookah

When I got back to work after the holiday, all kinds of drama exploded. The training I was going through was supposed to be three months and at the end of those three months each trainee was supposed to be offered a contract. It just so happened that that week concluded the three month training period for two of the trainees. When one of the trainees, Krzysztof, asked about a contract, he was greeted by shocked surprise and even anger. Obviously, they had not been planning ahead. Nevertheless, a contract was hastily drawn up that evening and the next day he forwarded me a copy as well.

It was the most ridiculous legal document I had ever seen.

It was an independent contract, meaning each of us would have to create our own company. Additionally, the provisions in the contract were not at all conducive to that of an independent contractor and were actually more binding than a regular working contract. There was no paid time off, sick days or benefits. You had to give two months notice if you wanted to quit and there was a 2500 Euro fee for breaking the contract any time before two years. 

We called a meeting with the boss.

You could probably say I did most of the talking in tha meeting as I am the only native English speaker. My boss, his wife and our manager were very defensive and confused as to why we were so upset. My boss kept saying that he was a reasonable person and that if something personal happened to us he would never hold us to the restrictions of the contract. I kept emphasizing that certain things needed to be amended and he agreed to amendments concerning everything except the fee for breach of contract. When asked why we couldn't sign regular contracts like the current employees, he explained that this was better for us because we would make more money because we would be paying fewer taxes. And lastly, I wanted to know exactly what the steps were to create your own company in Poland. He didn't know so he arranged for his accountant to come and talk to us the next day to explain everything. Throughout the discussion, my boss kept saying, 'Madeline, I've never seen you like this. You have so many questions.' It made me incredibly angry to hear him admit that he had underestimated me.

The next morning two of the trainees met with a lawyer downtown only to discover that the provisions in the contract were in conflict with Polish labor laws. They both decided then and there to walk. I thought I would most definitely do the same, but I wanted to go and relay the news in person.

Getting ready for my four o'clock meeting I was a little nervous. My boss always has tricks up his sleeves and he always gets what he wants. He's a true businessman in that sense. He has a way of putting a rose-colored glow on everything and getting people right where he wants them. I've seen him in action and he had had a great deal of time to prepare. On my way out the door I suddenly turned back and grabbed my black suit jacket and through it on. I had the feeling I'd be needing it. 

My comfort food

When I walked into the building I could hear a multitude of voices coming from my boss' office. There definitely was more than just an accountant in there. I went into the break room and waited. 

Within moments my boss came in and lit up when he saw me. He instructed me to follow him and I immediately noted that he was dressed to the nines, in black. As I followed him into the office I was greeted by a roomful of suits. A lawyer, two CPAs, my boss, his wife and my manager. Also wearing black. I was never so happy to be wearing my suit jacket. 

After a moment of panic I reminded myself that I hadn't signed anything so they had nothing on me. Then I pulled my acting hat on and, masking my fear, I walked around and graciously introduced myself to each person individually. Finally, I took a seat and waited. 

My boss held up two pieces of paper that looked like first grade math problems written in sharpie with the answers highlighted in neon yellow. This annoyed me. Again, he was underestimating my intelligence. One piece of paper contained figures demonstrating the net salary, taxes and gross income of an independent contract and the other was that of a normal working contract. The difference was about 800złoty, which is significant in Poland. Now that he was allowing us to choose between the two contracts I wanted to see the second contract in writing. He looked at me in shocked surprise and said he'd get me one and that I could even sign it that day. I didn't like that he was in such a rush as I was supposed to in training for yet another month. It turned out that they didn't even have any originals, so they blacked out the personal info of one of the current employee's contracts and handed it to me. 

It was in Polish.

I voiced that I was not a native Polish speaker and would need to receive a translated copy. They didn't have one, but if I could wait TWO HOURS one of the trainees would be in who was a certified translator. I found this ridiculously amusing and declined.

So the CPAs didn't speak very good English and had a great deal of difficulty with my questions so I had her tell me in Polish. I found this ironic, as my boss speaks absolutely zero Polish. It turns out that it's a little more complicated and time consuming for me as a foreigner to create my own company and my boss wasn't willing to wait for the paperwork to go through, so my only option was to go with the normal contract which was not enough money. 

I informed them that I would be going home to look over the contract as I also had to get it translated and that I would give them my response in 24 hours. It was 5pm. They were stunned, 'you're not going to stay for your shift?!?' I thought that was unbelievable and honestly couldn't see the point, but I just said no. Then they started laying it on thick. How valuable I was, how I'd picked everything up faster than anyone else with the least amount of training, how they liked working with me, etc. It was all true, but I had never heard them compliment me until then. They were always attacking everyone to be better. But that week I had consistently made over $2500 for the company daily. I was raking it in and they didn't want to lose me. In that moment I probably could have negotiated just about anything I wanted, but I wasn't interested in working with those people. They were money hungry, disorganized and pathetic. 

I waited in the break room for the other trainees to go through the same process. When they finished, they turned in their keys and Krzysztof asked if we could receive the money we were owed for the two weeks we worked in November. My boss threw a fit like a two-year-old. Saying we were stealing from him by taking his money, training with him just to use what we learned somewhere else, that Krzysztof had some nerve asking for money, that we had never worked there (despite the fact that we had been working as full-time agents even though we didn't have full training), blah, blah, blah. I made my decision right then and there. This was not someone I could trust or someone I wanted to work for. 

The next morning I received a call, text and email from my manager first thing in the morning enquiring about my decision. I was not happy. I was supposed to have 24hours. Later that afternoon, I sent him and my boss an email signaling my resignation. I received a nice response from my manager and a creepy response from my boss: 'wherever you go God will be with you. Time will tell...'

And that was the crash-burn ending to my first employment experience in Poland. 

Wedding Bells

As October approached, wedding preparations became the sole focus of every week. Krzysiek was in charge of the bachelor party, which took place two weeks before the wedding and was a huge, sloppy success. 

Our wedding invitation

The wedding was to be a two day affair so we took Friday and Monday off of work as we were signed up to help with preparations. Thursday night, Krzysiek and I spent the evening making a card for Kasia and Darek. In Poland, you pretty much always give money and often flowers to the couple. Cards contain well wishes and cash and the amount you give depends on your relationship to the couple. We had to give a substantial amount considering Krzysiek was both brother and best man. We also had the only handmade card out of all the guests. At first Krzysiek was a little skeptical about me making a card, but he hadn't bought one so we agreed he could veto it if it didn't suit the occasion. I won, and our card was a hit. It even had some mistakes in it, seeng as I'm not a native speaker :-p

nail time a week before the wedding

Friday morning we hopped on the bus to Wola and the insanity began. Chief had blown up 200+ balloons to make the balloon arch over the driveway. He went way over the top and the office was completely full of balloons to the point where you couldn't even enter. We started tying them together and every few minutes one would pop and we would all jump screaming in surprise. about an hour later we were mounting them over the driveway. Success!

The front garden where many activities took place

In the evening we went to church so everyone could confess and subsequently take communion the following day. Next was tłuć szkło. This is a tradition in which guests break china and the bride and groom must sweep it up together. It is considered good luck for their marriage. As we were sitting in the living room after church all of a sudden there was the sound of breaking glass out front. We ran to the front door and outside were Krzysiek's cousins and an array of broken beer bottles. Everyone stood around as Kasia and Darek swept up the glass and obnoxiously commentated, 'you missed a spot' until the patio was slick and span and we were all shivering from cold. Then we went inside for a few rounds of vodka before bed. 

flowers along the walkway

I had no idea what was appropriate to wear to the wedding, so I had brought an array of options with me. Before bed we had a fashion show during which I tried on all my outfits complete with shoes and the peanut gallery commentated. After about 20 minutes I had outfits selected for each day and felt much, much better.

Krzysiek & Kasia

The day of the wedding Chief woke everyone up early. The girls went to get their hair did and Krzysiek headed to Darek's to get him dressed and take some pictures. Before he left we had a bit of a crisis. Krzysiek's suit pants weren't in the closet with his jacket. Kasia had brought his suit to Wola several weeks earlier to be cleaned, but no one remembered seeing the pants. He had to improvise and he was not happy about it. His Mom found the pants three days later in the same closet where everyone had looked several times. Luckily in the pictures it's hard to tell he isn't wearing suit pants unless you already know.

So many buttons!

When Krzysiek got back, we got Kasia dressed slowly so the photographers could catch every moment. Then it was time for another Śląsk tradition: wykupny, during which the groom barters for the bride before the wedding. Everyone has different tactics, and the night before Krzysiek and his parents had devised a plan. Darek was given limited information, but enough so that it would guarantee that he would win the negotiations. When he arrived, Krzysiek negotiated on Kasia's behalf. One of Chief's friends had dressed up as an Arab and Darek was told that Kasia had already been bartered for that day. He was shown photos of the banana boat and camels that the Arab had produced as payment. Eventually Darek produced a briefcase full of złoty gangster style and won his bride.

The weather was beautiful

The following sequence was the most touching part of the entire wedding. Everyone stood aside as Darek went up the stairs to his bride with a procession of the closest family behind him. When he saw her he was completely overwhelmed. They had a moment together in which Darek began to tear up and then they knelt together on a white pall to receive blessings from each parent and the priest. At this point they both became misty eyed. Then pictures were taken and we all piled into cars to head to the church.

The ceremony

The two minute route to the church unveiled another tradition. There were obstacles to overcome along road to the ceremony. Every few feet there were various people (mostly neighbors) on the road blocking it with strings of cans, bikes, etc. in order to pass, you had to pay them off. Musia had brought a couple beers, but ended up beng one short so we had to scrounge for change at the last obstacle. Then we got to the church and everyone took their places. The mass started exactly on time and lasted about an hour. Krzysiek had to be up front as a witness, so I sat with his cousins. It ended up being a good decision on my part because his cousins didn't go up for communion and if I had sat with his parents I would have been very exposed while they took the host.

Krzysiek and I giving our gifts and well wishes

After church, the receiving line took place outside the church entrance. Guests walked up to the couple with envelopes which were put into a box and flowers and or wine which were handed to Mom or Dad. Then well wishes were verbally given to the couple followed by hugs and kisses. Krzysiek graciously took me by the hand and after giving our gifts, announced that he would be giving well wishes for the both of us. This was a surprise and a huge relief for me because I had been nervous about what to say and how to say it correctly. Kasia and Darek gave me kind and knowing looks and lovingly thanked the both of us for Krzysiek's kind words.

Krzysiek, Musia, Kasia and Karolina

After loading all the wine and flowers into the car, we walked five minutes down the road to the reception hall which was beautiful decorated. Everyone found their assigned seat and took their coats off, but no one sat down. We all stood at the edges of the room and focused our attention on a small glass table in the middle of the room filled with champagne flukes brimming with bubbly. We each took a glass and Darek and Kasia stood in the middle of the room and drank their first toast from champagne glasses attached by an elegant ribbon. After downing their champagne, they tossed the glasses over their heads and listened for the tinkling of breaking glass as they kissed for the second time as a married couple. Then they swept up the pieces as good luck for their road ahead. 

Then the eating began. 

Darek trying to get the garter 

Rosól, a clear broth with noodles, is almost always served as the first course. Then an array of meats, potatoes, kluski (potato dumplings) and the like were served family style. In the middle of each table was also an array of softdrinks, juice, water and bottles of vodka that was never lacking all night long. 

Darek & Kasia in front of St. Mary's Church during their photo session several weeks later

Course after course was served and in between everyone danced and drank shots in groups or got fancy umbrella drinks from the open bar. Everyone could drink because there were two assigned cars to take you home whenever you were ready to go. Everything was controlled by the live band who played from 2pm until 3am. They had their own table set up on-stage and would take breaks every so often to eat, and relax. They also orchestrated games for the guests to play and provided great dancing music all night. It was pretty much all Polish music, so I only knew a handful of songs that were currently on the radio. 

Krzysiek & I dancing

I couldn't believe how many people danced. Everyone danced. All the guys knew how to dance. Every single one of Krzysiek's uncles took me for a turn around the floor and it was so much fun! As soon as things began, the dance floor was never empty. It was amazing how much energy everyone had. At the end of the night, Krzysiek ended up onstage serenading with the band after a couple of heavy rounds of vodka with his cousins. He usually has an incredibly high tolerance, but that night he definitely reached his limit. At around 3:30am, only the immediate family remained and as the band was packing up, we decided to call it a night. We jumped in the car and were home five minutes later. The house was full of guests so that every sleeping surface was occupied. Krzysiek and I had to sleep on the living room couch and after a great deal of hydration, everyone crashed around 5am. 

Playing one of the many party games

The next morning we had to wake up and do it all again.

It felt like a scene from a movie. Around 9am alarms started sounding, bathrooms became occupied, breakfast was made and Kasia was once again sitting for hair and make-up. Everyone came into the living room as they woke up and joined me and Krzysiek on the couch. His Mom & Dad provided a breakfast spread accompanied by a pot of tea and an espresso option for anyone who wanted an extra kick. Krzysiek's uncle came in with a bottle of vodka and several shot classes and that's exactly how he and Krzysiek started out the morning. It was also funny to meet Kasia's guests as they made an appearance. They had been at the wedding the night before, but they hadn't been sitting by us and so we hadn't gotten a chance to actually talk before. Later on as I tag-teamed with Krzysiek, his sister and his mother in the bathroom his Mom asked me, "is this too crazy for you?' I was like, 'no, this is exactly how my family is every time we get together.' And it was true. I felt right at home amidst the chaos. 

Playing the balloon game

After a shower, new hair and putting on my face, I looked at my heels with dread as my feet were still pretty dead from the night before. But I had no choice so I took a deep breath and slipped them on. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. We actually walked to church and this time Krzysiek had me sit with him in the first pew. After disappearing for a good portion of the night before he was determined to not leave my side the second day. Ironically, I ended up sitting next to the groom's aunt, who is a nun. She spent the entire mass staring at me due to the fact that I don't cross myself, say any of the responses and I didn't take communion. After the service, she went up to the bride and asked who I was. I was highly amused and Krzysiek absolutely loved it.

The bride and groom, Krzysiek and I and his nephew

After church we went back to the hall and everything started all over again. Over the first courses we did a recap of the previous night and then the drinking and dancing and games began. I had asked Krzysiek countless times how on earth it was possible to wake up after a night of intense partying only to get gussied up and do it all again. He always said that that's why rosół (chicken broth) is the first dish, 'After that, you're good to go.' And he was right. I was fine. I danced in my heels from 2pm until 3am and my feet did just fine. I drank plenty but wasn't wasted and the next day I didn't feel like death. That evening we ended the night on stage where we sat around with the bride and groom, a few close family members and the band who was on a roll. They kept telling jokes and everyone was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down their faces. I didn't understand most of the jokes, but hearing everyone laugh made me laugh too, so I had just as much fun.

Krzysiek dancing with his Mom

Krzysiek and i walked home that night and looked at the stars on our way. It was such a clear night that the number of stars was incredible. Like a sparkling blanket so close you could almost touch it. 

Spending some time at the most important table

The following day, Monday, was slow. Everyone eventually got up and dressed and we literally sat in the living room over coffee for hours talking about the last few days. Just Krzysiek's parents, his uncle, his younger sister and me. Everyone was in a good mood and all day long the house rang with laughter. The weather was unbelievable; warm and sunny enough for us to have lunch out in the garden followed by red wine and beers. In the evening we lazed around the living room and nibbled on tea and cake leftover from the wedding. We all crashed early and the next morning Krzysiek and I headed back to Kraków with an enormous amount of wedding food in tow.